Self-assertion Dream

I’m packing my bag, angrily. Righteously… urging my mom to leave with me. We’re in a hotel room with my father (and uncle I think) and I’ve broken out of a gaslit haze come to my senses that I have every right to get out of this toxic situation. In the background my father simpers, saying that’s not necessary, why don’t we go out to breakfast? He continues to ooze out nothings in his ingratiating matter. There’s no end to the emotional manipulation, the self centered behavior. I turn to my mom who I feel like I have broken through to, as though she sees with fresh eyes the ways of my dad, and the destructive affect each have on each other. She is hesitating.

Earlier in the dream…I’m in high school again. Except this me isn’t so repressed. I’m in the hallways, with my best friend M at the time, loudly calling people out, saying whatever I want to them, commenting on their behavior, being sharp, fire. M is the one trying to guide me away before I get into a fight or something. Sorta a role reversal compared to waking life.

A movie theater…a 3d animated film where Rihanna is the protagonist, fierce do-gooder on some sort of campus…I merge with her/her story and eventually end up in the hotel room.

Themes of self-assertion and feminine bonding in this dream.


Dream: All the Femmes in One Room

First, there’s me and Vi walking through campus in a haze of sun and sea sweat, our arms linked. We stop at the Starbucks (most unlike us IRL). I feel melancholy inside there, and I want to buy things to remember us all by. The coffee shop has all sorts of goodies pop out at me, especially a silver moon decor piece with purple hanging chains from it, holding more silver plates. I get in line and purchase a powerpuff girls wallet as well as some stuffed animals. But  I steal the moon – then walk out of the coffee shop without telling my friends or saying goodbye.
I find a schoolbus, full of excited girls/femmes who are wearing colorful clothes. There is no bus driver, but the bus moves on its own. Everything is fine and dandy and then we suddenly reach what appears to be the top of a roller coaster…the road pointing vertically down. The bus rolls on forward and someone behind me yells excitedly “Don’t fake it!!!!” We all scream and squeal as the bus twists and falls its way back to the ground, never leaving the railing. 

Then we all make our way to what is decided will be our new hideout. Party clothes and stuffed animals everywhere. We get to the hideout and there’s a fridge like space where we all pile up our clothing. I busy myself organizing and feeling kind of separate from the rest of the femme’s excitement.