I am falling asleep in the van, in and out of consciousness. Angel is talking with Jerry just outside the vehicle, and I lie there uncertain if I should come out. At one point, I sit up. I look into my body and see my astral hands in perfect vision, but they are gray and ghostly, in a way that makes me fear I am decaying inside. After all, shouldn’t the astral body be full of light and rainbows or glittering to some degree? I conclude that I must be doing the wrong thing, coming on this trip…that I might, I must, be rotting myself from the inside out. Then Angel comes and shakes me and I feel better.
Flashes…I am in my parent’s new apartment, I hear someone calling for me, or perhaps a parent tells me someone is calling me. I step out into the balcony, look down and to the left, New Lover, someone I have never seen before, black male-assigned with long braids and a femme outfit is smiling and waving at me, beckoning me to come find him. I get my clothes on and run out to meet him. As we drive off, I put my feet up on the deck and he admires my platform mary janes while showing me his platformed heeled boots.